tossing many thoughts around in my head, as I, baffled by the lights of the computer screen and ambience of the coffee shop I sit in, try to remember what there is to 'blog' about. (now I don't mean to blog, but...)
yesterday I set an intention of moving with grace and ease through the day, not over exerting myself, using just the amount of energy necessary for each task, becoming one with the task. I was by and large very successful. ordinary tasks, accomplished with flow and heart and cooperation: weeding, fertilizing and mulching (working with a tractor and wheelbarrows) taro and yams; using a gas-powered weed whacker (becoming 1 with it)...
I wrote in my journal in the morning in a treehouse made of strawberry guava and bamboo rounds lashed together to some standing str. guava trees, the sunlight twinkling on the leaves, up above the high point on the land...
I remember that expressing my feelings, my process, to others & being supported and heard by them is so important... that all communities need hold this type of space for intimacy to deepen.
I have been largely focused on observation, inspiration, and going with the flow on this trip. I see the times of initiating projects, being proactive in networking, actively manifesting up ahead in the pnw. I have not felt the need to deeply root myself here, to make a few more substantial connections, with people, community and land, than to become slightly integrated for this short period of time in the greater Puna cosmos.
I am reminded of the importance of vision:
(from my journal entry; read if you dare/choose)
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I was asked about my vision last the other night at the heart share, and spoke of each human filling a niche, with areas of special expertise as well as a committment to the labor, interpersonal work, co-envisioning and manifesting, parenting, reponsiveness/responsibility... and that there is a fractal pattern to this communal existence with each (urban/rural) 'household'/'property'/community filling a niche in within the community of the city block/acreage/town and each town in the bioregion, each bioregion within the island/continent (with trade of the surplus from the abundance of that biome's particular gifts (blueberries/avocadoes/deer/wool, wood? )...the surplus only, so that the ability of the people, animals, plants and other organisms of the bioregion to sustain themselves is not undermined by the externally placed 'demand'/'need' of bananas, coffee, sugar or whatever. only the surplus offered up by the locals, after their needs are met fit into this balanced vision of a trade web. This may include at each level of the fractal network not only food, but crafts, fabric, fuels, fodder/animal feed and music, dances, stories, spiritual and interrelational prcatices, ideas, information, techniques of design, healing & medical techniques & technology, machines, appropriate & low embodied energy technologies, skills, etc. ... all that are media within the micro to macro continuum of the ecos.
I intend to maintain, remember, feed and grow this vision, expand with it, allow it to integrate with the fine details of life & practice in the day to day (& breath to breath), season to season, cycle to cycle...
from my work and play in this vision, I hope to spawn songs, writing, plays, facilitation and teaching. these powers mostly lie dormant in me at this time and I can see that a major reason I left the arts for now is that I was in a 'bubble' (and still allow myself to be/choose to be sometimes)... and that my powers of creation and expression will achieve the confidence and humility, the presense and the potency that they need to be both beautiful and functional through allowing them to unfold from within the vision, from my experiences, observations and learnings exploring and practicing the details of following the vision, of uncovering and creating it, of learning to see in relation to the vision, to hear and feel in relation to my values and vision, the process of learning to be, to live the vision.
("You can only write what you know" has been often said, and if all I've known is writing or theater making, then the people in these circles are the ones who will relate to the art and be affected by it--hence, the artistic bubble/vaccuum)
I can see the days coming in which I am more outspoken, utilizing my skill base, grounded within my vision/values.
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I accompanied Biko, Tracy and their daughter, Ai'ala, La'akean community members, in a coconut gathering mission. I was 'ground crew' lowering bunches of cocos down on a with a simple pulley system (Biko climbed up the trees, got up into the canopy (where one sometimes encounters bees, centipedes a/o rats), attached the rope to one 'rack' of cocos after another, then sawed off their connecting stem, as I lowered them down. We got plenty of 'drinkers' (young ones full of delicious nutrient rich water and scant to moderate jelly-like flesh; 'shakers' which give a slush sound upon shaking because they have aged and lost some of their water (normally the water is still great, maybe slightly fermented and the flesh is thicker and rubbery; and 'grounders', brown-gray hulled cocos taken off the ground: the flesh is solid and fibrous/fatty, the water is mostly gone a/o not so tasty, the flesh ranges from great to munch or make coconut milk to good chicken /duck feed (they love it); and also 'sprouters' that have begun to sprout leaves and in which the water has turned into a custardy cupcake like substance that some people love but I normally think tastes like soap.
This was a great initiation for me into team coco foraging. maybe I'll get a chance to climb some short ones next week.
I had an amazing time at the community 'ecstatic' dance last sunday. I really allowed myself to abandon my ego and enter the energy of the room: probably like 120 people flowing both individually and together. live drum set and electric bass accompanied the dj'ed music. after wards I received a free sample of watsu massage, which was perhaps the most relaxing 15 minutes of the decade for me... being totally supported in the water (with ankle and knee floats) and releasing my head and neck into the practictioner, Lilia. I guess I use a substantial amount of energy keeping myself up when I'm in the water... I was inspired to take classes in this gentle partner massage/dance in the future.
Then, I went and swam in the wild waves of Kahena beach with a bunch of others hanging out there for the weekly drum circle gathering. beautiful and totally sunny for a change. I also played a couple of drums and danced some more. It felt so good to connect in this way, to play and feel so free and safe. It was great healing after a week of lots of physical labor and a couple doctor visits. ((I'm still having some heartburn like symptoms...I got hawaiian health insurance to kick in and am getting blood tests and x-rays and doctor visits at No cost... It feels to good to know I can have medical help without having to worry about how the hell am I going to pay for it and finding myself weighing the financial value of my health (priceless!).
Overall, I feel good and am not worried about my heart's health...my blood pressure is normal and I had another electrocardiograph done ("normal") just to be sure. If I find something out from these tests than I will have some more tools for healing, but I'm not relying on it. I've been working at simplifying my diet and working at being more conscious of how much & what I need to eat vs. how much (and what) I desire to eat.
I love you all and look forward to returning home for an integrating and reconnecting summer... and onwards.
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